A Helping Hand.

I have been asked over and over and over how I do the things I do. "How do you find the time?" "How do you keep up on it all?" I have even had a few people make innuendos about how surely something must be amiss. I MUST be ignoring something important so that I can do the things I want to do. There is no magic formula, and believe me I AM NO SUPER MOM. There are days when the laundry goes unfolded. I get rings around my toilets. The carpet is screaming for a good vacuum as I type this. Whenever I am asked questions of this nature I usually say, "People make the time to do the things they want to do." And I truly believe that. If someone likes reading, they make time for it. I love to create and nest and browse through magazines looking at pretty things, so I make the time for it. These activities fill me up. In doing them, I am being true to myself and my interests. Not neglecting my family. There is a balance that we must all find and like everyone else, I admit, I struggle with the balance. When I devote everything I have to my family, I day dream about the projects I want to work on. When I'm working on a project, I feel guilty about the things I could be doing for my family. Please tell me we all feel this way.

After much thought on the subject, I have decided the answer I am going to start giving people when faced with these questions is "I am not a super mom, but I have a super husband." Because that is really how I am able to do the things I do. I have a husband that jumps up after he's finished with dinner and starts on the dishes. I never have to ask. I have a husband who likes things clean as much as I do. I have a husband who rotates the laundry while I read bed time stories. He delights in service. Especially service to his family. In our family we heed the counsel from our church leaders who said "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." We are equal partners.

In the Ensign that arrived in my mailbox yesterday President Eyring talks about "being one." He said, "And at that creation of man and woman, unity for them in marriage was not given as hope; it was a command! Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity." My dear husband and I understand and hold strong to this counsel. We support one another in our interests, and we are one in purpose and desire for our family.

20 comments:

  1. Your whole first paragraph could be almost word for word the exact conversation that Marilyn and I had a few days ago.

    And in response to the question in the 1st paragragh, YES, we ALL feel this way! You are not alone.

    I too love the quote from the Proclamation. Thank you.

    After reading the quote from President Eyring's talk, I need to run down to my mailbox. I haven't checked it in a couple of days, but now I'm excited to!

    Have a great day Danyelle!

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  2. What a great thing to feel like you are partners together. I feel the same about Kyle and I.

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  3. I agree. We all make time for the things we want to do. I, too, struggle sometimes to balance everything. I think this is something everyone can relate to.

    I'm glad that you and your hubby are a great team. Isn't it the greatest! I don't know what I'd do without Jared.

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  4. Ok first...those could be dad's hands in the dish water. Second...I have that "daydream/Guilt" thing all the time, I think it keeps us balanced. Third...what a neat post. Lately I too have been extra grateful for a wonderful husband and I think your hubby is quite a catch.

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  5. Danyelle, I totally love this! Randy is always so willing to help too, it helps me so I can be ME, and not lose myself. That is one lesson you taught me when I first met you years ago and I really try to remember it. You said when the kids are gone you still want to know each other, have interests besides your kids and be in love. I think that is some of the best advice.. plus buying stuff for yourself.. not just your kids.
    Balance is hard.. but with a helping husband it is possible, and then you get to be a better wife and mother because of it.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  6. What a beautiful post. And so true! Life is lived to its fullest when we balance the things we HAVE to do, with the things we WANT to do. I have thought through this many times before. It's OK for me to sit and play piano, it's OK for me to post a blog, it's ok for me to watch Gilmore Girls reruns, because I must make time for 'me' amid the busy life that being a mom brings. Life must be lived in balance. And you're right...it sure helps when there is a helpful and devoted husband around! Thanks for these beautiful words today, I will revisit this post whenever I am in need of a boost!

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  7. But are you sure you aren't kind of supermomish?? I'm just sayin'. But honestly, you and Ryan really are a great team!

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  8. I think it's great that you did this post. I think it will help a lot of moms (like me) not beat themselves up so much for not being able to accomplish all that you do. I think having a husband who helps clean the house makes all the difference in the world.

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  9. I loved this post, Danyelle. Thanks.

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  10. Wonderful post, Danyelle. You said it all so nicely.

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  11. I get the same thing always. People say, oh your house must be a mess if you are sewing so much. I always think, well? What if it is? Really though my secret beyond a helping husband is a helping 2 year old daughter who takes a four hour nap every day. She really loves me. Thanks for this post, monthly I have to rework my etsy/blog/motherhood/wifery schedule. It's never easy, but I wouldn't trade a second of my life.

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  12. I LOVE this post!! It hit home to me because people say it to me and it really makes me feel uncomfortable!! You said everything so perfectly - I have never met you but you are truly a woman of wisdom!! Thank you for the beautiful and inspiring post!!

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  13. I LOVE this post!! It hit home to me because people say it to me and it really makes me feel uncomfortable!! You said everything so perfectly - I have never met you but you are truly a woman of wisdom!! Thank you for the beautiful and inspiring post!!

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  14. Im going to make Scott read this! :) He stinks at cleaning but he is so good at other father/husband things that I can't get disappointed. They can't be wonderful at everything right? :) Working together as one is such a perfect goal. You guys are such a good example of that!

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  15. I like what you said about choosing to do what we like to do and that it's not taking us away from our families. Well said. That's great that Ryan is so willing to do dishes and clean! I saw that picture and immediately thought of Richard's hands. They are one in the same!

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  16. I love this post so much. As Tiffani mentioned, we had this EXACT conversation a few days ago. It drives me crazy to hear people say, "How do you have time to blog?" It makes me want to say, "How do you have time to read, or shop, or watch TV, or golf, or scrapbook?" Like you said, we all make time to do the things we enjoy. And there is nothing wrong with that...it is all about balance, and everyone struggles with that (I am pretty sure.)

    I am bound and determined to know who I am and never lose myself in daily living. I would be cheating myself if I ignored my desire to do the things I love.

    Thanks for letting me vent in your comments...oh, and you do have one of the most amazing husbands on planet earth, lucky you!

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  17. fantastic post, i really love your blog!

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  18. So well said! I feel the exact same way.

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  19. Amen Sista D! So very well written that I think it needs to be submitted to the Ensign.

    But I have a question? What is wrong with being a SuperMom? Or a SuperDad? Or a SuperFriend? Never ever apologize for being your best self. If it makes someone else feel bad about themself they need to do a self check.

    People are like crabs and I think I will blog about that today!

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